TEEN HORRIFIED AFTER DOWNLOADING SKIN FLICK AND DISCOVERING...
MOM AND DAD ARE PORNO STARS!
By MATT KIRSCH
AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.
Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. "I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited."
Timmy's parents, "Captain Throbberson" and "Gina Jiggles," as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it.
"Tim's mother and I are completely comfortable with our sexuality. I think our son's a little scared he might learn a move or two from his old man."
While his family seems to be in turmoil, Timmy admits that future family gatherings will probably be a little uncomfortable. "Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"
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